Yes, I attended it too. Like every other immigrant in the Mumbai city, who has no life on weekends, even I attended the biggest festival of DSLR-owners-who-can’t-handle-the-camera. It’s known as Kala Ghoda. The festival started in 1999 when Suneil Shetty was spotted at the street area of Rampart Row doing crunches. To celebrate the acrobatic skills of what people initially thought was a black horse, they started a festival of food, art, culture, music, stampede, hippie clothes and DSLR cameras. To nobody’s surprise they named it Kala Ghoda (a latin word when translated in English it means Suneil Shetty). Since then every year hordes of people with Facebook accounts throng the festival so that they can upload variety of colourful pictures on their FB profiles to add to the usual honeymoon albums, drunk summing pool party pictures and look-now-I-have-a-cleavage pictures self-clicked in badly maintained society elevators.
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| A statue of King Edward VII with Sunil Shetty aka Kala Ghoda |
So, what is Kala Ghoda festival all about? It’s about the expensive DSLR cameras and clicking multiple still shots of art installations which 8 million other people have already clicked a day before you did and another 10 million will click a day later. In fact, if you search ‘Kala Ghoda festival images’ on Google you’d get the same picture on the first 10,000 result pages all clicked by different ‘artists’.
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| An installation clicked by Rahul, Prakash, Ruchi, Priyal, and 1,50,000235 other visitors |
When I got off my taxi at the Rampart Row street near the over-charging Rhythm House I could hear the crowd’s collective sigh as I didn’t have a DSLR strapped around my neck. Some of the stunned witnesses thought I was an Australian tourist, so they handed me a copy of Shantaram and pushed me towards Leopold Cafe. But later, I showed them my hairy Indian legs and convinced them that as per the festival norms I shall be taking 15 pictures of anything standing still for more than 3 seconds with my humble camera phone. So, they let me in.
The festival is also known for its zombie walk which visitors do at all popular venues including Asiatic Steps, Cross Maidan, Horniman Circle, Jehangir Art Gallery and but of course, Rampart Row street. In fact, visitors on the weekends actually believe that the festival is all about walking through a crowded alley with your nose on the shoulder of the person walking ahead of you. They have been following it for years like a religious practice. As a matter of fact, the festival has proved to be a social experiment on a variety of subjects. For example, the festival has helped us figure out maximum number of people that can fit on 37 flights of stairs (Asiatic steps) without looking like the core of a neutron star, or the number of ways an object can be clicked in a period of 9 days or less, and most importantly, does attending Kala Ghoda festival with a DSLR and cargo pants help single boys get laid.
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| An installation after smoking up a joint. |
So here are some FAQs on the festival that might help you avoid it
What are the dates for Kala Ghoda Arts Festival this year?
Whenever you see a lot of Indian young men and women in pink and red pants roaming around the town you’d know it’s Kala Ghoda time.
How do I know what to see and do?
Follow the guy with the marijuana joint.
How do I buy tickets?
It’s a free event. Perhaps, that’s the only reason you’d be attending it apart from the fact that you have recently bought a DSLR that you can’t handle.
How do I Register?
By taking multiple shots of the venue using your DSLR.
Where exactly is the festival taking place?
The Kala Ghoda festival is conducted over 9 days and across several locations that you can’t reach unless you are Gregory David Roberts. So forget about it.
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